I Am A Humble Warrior…

This morning, I had the privilege of experiencing a breakthrough during my yoga practice which was lead by one of the truest of hearts and a very trusted soul sister, Rebecca White.

This past year I have journeyed through yoga in a way much like life-and have truly grasped the concept that Yoga IS breath….Yoga IS life

.I have stumbled, soared, practiced from a place of ego, had regressions within my posturing, fallen, learned lessons, and even allowed my personal practice to go dormant.

In order to fully appreciate the story, I must rewind the clock and reflect:

One year ago, I sat, wide eyed, upon a brand new mat gifted to me by lululemon; on a trip for which I was sent by their amazing company, in a room full of the worlds most inspiring in fitness and in leadership.

 The 2014 lululemon Ambassador Summit! 

Was I really here…Me??

 Prior to the start of our group Jivamukti yoga practice, I remember speaking to a gal next to me and saying: “The energy in this room is insane!” I could feel the unity…the openness from every single being in that room!

Completely unaware that this adventure, with these people, gifted to us by this amazing company, in a beyond picturesque location, would transform my life in such a short amount of time on such a grand level.

What I did know at that moment? I was honored to be in the company of and awe-struck by the colorful energy within this group. While we all practiced together …our varied levels made the most beautifully diverse vibrational harmony I’ve ever felt.

The experience that lululemon gifted me was so much more than the class…it was a total delve into the Self via inspiration, reflection, movement, bonding, trust, baring of the soul, and having the MOST fun!

After returning back to the states, to our {r}elevé one community, and to the loving arms of my amazing husband and our boys, I felt overwhelmed.

 “What am I to do with all that I’ve learned”

I felt like I had so much to share…so much to say….so much to do!

I had breakthroughs on that mountop in Whistler! I’d deeply connected with a group of strangers who became a family in such a short time. I made promises and commitments to confront and release myself of fears that had plagued me for a great while…and I committed with deadlines!

In four short days I changed, evolved, and grew stronger and more certain of my purpose!

As I reflect on this past year, I see that the presence of adversity, uncertainty, and anxiety were in abundance- always there for me…trying to swallow me in their wrath! I won’t complain, or try to place priority over my happenings…aren’t we all trying to release ourselves of these chains?

It’s how we arrive at the “other side”…free of these chains that truly matters!

In tandem with a loving and supportive family and network of friends, everything that I have accomplished this year can be credited toward the soul food that I experienced in those four days!

Today’s practice was the peak…the top of the mountain! A level of growth that I experienced exactly one year ago…

This morning, Rebecca lead us through a classic and beautiful flow; encouraging each participant sto connect within. To rid ourselves of ego or expectations.

I often refer to Rebecca’s class as: 

Good Clean Beautiful Yoga;

Meaning, we work form, breath, and soul without focusing on the “fancy stuff”.

For a time over this past year, I got caught up in The Fancy!

My mission became trying to get in to as many advanced poses as possible. Unknowingly, I began a silent competition within!

My Soul vs. My Ego!!!!

Every pose I achieved was like a high. Every arm balance I held was a victory. I wanted more…and more…

Until, this summer, I attempted a posture that injured my neck which put a halt on my practice…Fear was back and ready to shut me down!

My ego was winning:

“If I can’t do this…then I’m going to quit,” she said.

In retrospect, I was skipping the steps…missing the beauty and evolution that comes from Good Clean Beautiful Yoga!

 Recently, I recommitted to my practice and decided not to bring along my ego.

 She had to go! She wasn’t going to let me get caught up again!

Little did I realize, that the point where I welcomed my personal practice back into my world, was in fact after I had healed and released myself of two of my greatest fears- which I’ll kindly leave unnamed.

I have always considered myself to be a “work in progress”…one who embraces growth and evolution, but lets be honest…when hardship arrives, the embrace isn’t always a sweet one until after we are through the fire!

Back to today’s class…

Showing up on my mat was in question all they way up until I dropped my son off at school at 9am this morning…I’m so glad that I did!

Not only was I reaffirmed throughout the hour that simplicity is the gate way to growth, I also overcame another fear.

For the first time, I safely floated into a headstand and held the posture for 4 breaths!

There was no ego, no demand, and no need…just an attempt that allowed me to look past my fear and into the love of my practice and for all of which makes me humble.

And the tears…oh the tears did fall!!

I could have wept for an hour while in childs pose, yet my soul was called to rise above my fear several more times with success!

Fear has placed itself in the way of so many things in my life! Last year, I really began digging deep into the psychology of that fear and working at great lengths to rise above, heal, and overcome!

Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of my trip to Whistler where my life changed so much in four short days!

Today’s headstand represents the work that I’ve accomplished throughout this past year on overcoming so many obstacles.

Last year I stepped into this Declaration:

I Am Fearless Driving Force of Truth…I am Dancing!

 And though it still “fits” me like a glove…today on my mat, while upside down, I declared:

I Am A Humble Warrior!